


Unstoppable, Immovable

by Unholy_Author



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, F/F, Happy Ending, Musing, but not angsty either, just sad, not sweet, the idea of loneliness and brokenness and emptiness, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 17:37:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17064152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unholy_Author/pseuds/Unholy_Author
Summary: Satya thinks as her lovers sleep





	Unstoppable, Immovable

There is a certain softness to Satya as she gently cards her hand through Olivia’s hair. The woman shifted, mumbling in her sleep, and Satya stilled until she settled before returning to the motion. 

The three of them had decided on a date. Something at home, where Amélie would not need to hide herself, where Olivia would not be restrained by etiquette, where Satya would not be afraid. Satya was very tired of being afraid. 

They had watched two movies, Amélie leaning against the arm of the couch, Satya against her shoulder, Olivia’s head in Satya’s lap, before Olivia fell asleep. For all of Amélie’s training, for all of her ability to stay awake for days in the field, at home she was not a weapon. And she too fell asleep. 

 

Satya remembered a time in her life when she thought she would never find love. She remembered the thought lingering in the back of her mind on the good days. Tearing into her chest until she could do nothing but sob on the bad ones. She remembered the first time she had a sensory meltdown that had her clawing her own prosthetic off just so she could feel a little less and realised no one could ever love someone like her. She remembered the first time she could not make herself eat for days and realised no one could ever love someone so childish. She remembered the first time she curled up with the weight of her own memories and screamed and realised no one could ever love someone so broken.

No one could ever love her. 

But they did. For some unknown reason she wasn’t sure she would ever be able to grasp, they loved her. Olivia would distract her when she needed it, loudly announce she had new snacks she simply needed to try, insist on Satya taking her meds when Olivia took her own. She was a force of unending enthusiasm and spirit. She was so kind, even when she insisted she was selfish. 

And Amélie. The one who held Satya when she cried, whispered her own memories and how she made them go away. She would gently pull her to the shower, to the bath when she was so heavy with the weight of her brokenness she was sure she wouldn’t be able to stand, and washed her hair as she whispered

“Not broken, my love. You are whole. You are simply wounded.”

An unending strength, that Satya learned to trust, to rely on. 

Satya remembered her shame. Head bowed, shoulders quaking, when she told them what broke her. 

“Depression. And anxiety. I’m assured they’re not uncommon in those with autism but....I....”

She remembered them holding her as she trembled. She remembered them on either side of her speaking softly of their own fights, their own troubles, and asked if they were broken.

“No, of course not, you are stronger than I am.”

“Not stronger. We simply had help. And now, so do you.” 

Satya remembered when she stared at a bottle of pills she hadn’t taken in weeks, wondering how many were inside. Amélie seeing this and without a word taking them away until the look was gone. 

Satya wondered if she could go back, comfort the self that lay sobbing in a cold bath for fear of the grimness which lay ahead of her, whether that self would believe the light in store. She didn’t think she would. 

Satya was startled from her thoughts by a gentle hand cupping her cheek, a thumb running under on of her eyes. Olivia had woken up, had been watching. 

“Saty, are you okay?” Olivia asked quietly, to avoid waking the third woman. “You’re crying.” Satya turned her face into Olivia’s hand and kissed her palm.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay. But are you okay? Do you want a stim?”

“No, it’s alright. I was just....remembering.”


End file.
